Field Report: Signs of the Apocalypse?

Yabbi-ta, a 500 year-old gender confused Amish zombie, rose from the dead today and threatened to “make shit happen” if its demands were not met; namely, to drink the blood of children and make good on the ancient Aztec “vote or die" prophecy.

According to Quantum Lux, cat-about-town and current Chief Executive Overlord of Vorpal Sphere, “Yabbi-ta represents 1% of all known zombie-kind and it is more accurate to call it a “revenant” as it has the goal of bringing about the apocalypse, creating other undead, and voting in the upcoming presidential election. Other distinguishing traits of Yabbi-ta include: the ability to speak, gender-shifting, cross-dressing, and lurking in dark places."

Lux added, "Sooner or later I will draw upon all my knowledge of zombie-lore for a showdown with Yabbi-ta. I’m ready and my kung-fu is strong.” Folklore tells us eating brains is the hallmark of zombie-kind, the disgraced Amish zombie is not above a little snack on the side.