U.S. Senator Barack Obama clinched the democratic nomination for the presidency of the United States today. Obama suffered a decline with voters for his controversial stance on opening talks with the notorious transvestite Amish zombie leader, Yabbi-ta (see Field Report: Signs of the Apocalypse? post). Zombies from every strata of undeadness are supporting Obama for president. The Stay Dead Party nominee, Gov. Chuck Goodrich, staunchly rejects zombie support of any kind in any political contest and had this to say, “People, they are zombies! They eat the brains of good folks like you and me! We must not negotiate with zombies.”
Gov. Goodrich unveiled his Zombie Defense System (ZDS) policy and infrastructure. Said Goodrich, “The ZDS will provide a safety net for families and make America’s cities a hub of urban growth and help strengthen our economy. By electing me, the people elect for the continued existence of children and puppies.”
When asked where the funding will come from to build the ZDS, Gov. Goodrich said, “The entire Zombie Defense System will be funded by the gold teeth repurposed from retired zombies.”
3 comments:
Yabbi-ta for President! Viva la zombie revolution!
Zombie Watch is watching you!
GIMME SUM KNUCKLES, MY MAN!
goodrich had a policy of burning tires around the necks of political rivals...clearly a headstrong cantidate
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