Danger the Clown

This is Danger the Clown. Like all of us, he enjoys scaring the shit out of small children. No doubt little Timmy here will require years of unsuccessful therapy. Future Timmy will hear voices and hide several dead hookers in strategic locations about his property. Careful little Timmy, that lollipop is laced with horse laxative and Viagra.

Danger the Clown was recently hired by Vorpal Sphere to spread humor and good tidings to all by any means necessary. HR lists Danger’s job title as “Humor Enforcement Agent” and for good reason, how much humor enforcement do you think little Timmy can take before he starts drowning his pets? Only Danger knows for sure.

Humor is a universal human condition (much like our oxygen habit) that crosses all cultural boundaries and strata of life. One only needs contextual and mutual understanding of the set-up for the punch line to make sense. I know that is simplistic and very basic, but it holds true. Whether the joke is funny or not is a different matter; unless it is low-brow nonsensical verbal molestation.

I find (depending on how much Mt Dew and ham are in my system) my sense of humor ranges from low-brow, to mid-brow, to high-brow. Now, it may seem like I just threw all sorts of monkey shit against the wall, but I assure you, I am deeper than that. Allow me to prove it.

Some background: I once saw monkeys at the Portland Zoo flinging their poo at people. I laughed and watched for the next hour as the tourists were fecal-assaulted continuously. It was almost like a pie fight from those old movies - one sided of course. I laughed until I almost shit myself – a turtle head was definitely poking. True story.

If I had to provide a formal definition of my humor and humor in general, I would say: I like pussy. Why pussy? To anthropomorphize humor by pointing out easily traumatized and vulnerable pleasure female parts seems knee-slapping funny to me. And no, I'm not on any meds - yet!